Decay.
Recently, I found myself in a very difficult position of dealing with failure. I had worked on a project for months, and was capping off the program with a wee press conference (in attendance, 30+ journalists held in a five star hotel, and the Chairman of my company) and a large-scale ceremony (in attendance, 100+ CXO alumni from one of the US’ leading business schools, and the Chairman of my company).
Well, due to several events out of my control, and admittedly a few that were my responsibility, the event did not go as planned. So badly, in fact I thought my expulsion from the Company was imminent.
Since I make a point not to delve into details about my work (yes I’d like to keep my job and not get axed like other underlings secretly keeping blogs) I’ll gloss over some interesting tidbits which culminated in a disaster of an event and my first professional crisis.
Exhibit A: The Business School’s Dean pulled rank on me and modified my press conference and ceremony agenda 10 minutes before the big events began. This is after I had sent multiple copies to him and his staff plenty of days beforehand, giving him ample opportunity to make changes before I finalized it.
What was so urgent? Squeezing in extra time slots for his and his right hand man’s to blow hot air at the press conference. And squeezing extra chairs onto the cramped table to accommodate 2 beefy corporate American men. They looked like circus clowns stuffed into a micro mini car- only substitute Brooks Brothers suits for iridescent costumes, scowls for lively painted faces, and a distinguished banquet table for toy car.
Exhibit B: A famous jury member totally disregarding all briefing materials I provided weeks earlier, and embarrassing the awardees and myself when she had no idea what their businesses did. No idea. Then missed her several cues I planned in the ceremony (also detailed in the briefing documents).
I realize now that it’s very difficult to work with people who are "experts" and have inflated egos. They expect you to do everything for them, yet disregard any instructions you may try to give them. Plus, they are more interested in making sure other's inflated egos in the room aren't getting more attention than them. All the jury members, distinguished Business Professors and tech industry experts, sizing each other up, letting their air of superiority ruin my glorified, idealized vision of “professionalism.”
I am not without fault too, as several details which I thought were taken care of in fact were minimally prepared. Thus, causing chaotic backstage confusion, pulling own hair out, and subsequent seclusion in green room after the spectacle crash and burned.
Nonetheless, I learned an incredible amount enduring the event, and what may have taken me years to learn through steady small successes I learned the hard way in one gigantic debacle.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Frustrating example of decay part B: This morning’s fiery irrational anger due to battling poor infrastructure on the way to work. The anger was without compromise, without remorse, heatedly thrown directly at the Indian Government.
I was so irate, I grabbed a scruffy newspaper off vibrating floor and I began to scribble my diatribe over the peanuts comic strip. Fuel was added to the fire as I discovered the cover story was yet another piece on the disorganized, utterly incompetent government and their power struggle. Reprinted here its full, unadulterated version….
“Another government uproar and scandal. Who are these thousands of incompetent people in power? How/why on earth do they stay there? They grab for scraps of authority to call their own, to assert their autonomy in their new “democratic” system without foreigners oppressively controlling their country. What does this government do besides bicker and in fight over issues which only affect less than 3% of the population?
Is there no public works function? Everything here is in decay, nothing escapes its painful decline into dust. Sidewalks haven’t been touched by repair tools in years, urban planning to facilitate new growth is a joke… no one seems to want to take responsibility.
The argument I’ve heard consists of a money mantra. If only the government was rich, if only we had public funding, then we’d really be able to accomplish something positive for the people.
But I doubt the lack of green is whats slowing progress down. If billions of dollars poured into the hands of policymakers and bureaucrats, or govt representative with the power to do good, the true outcome is hazy. Would civil projects be revitalized, or would money be diverted into the proper channels? Hopefully yes, but it seems that there are very few politicians who are directly responsible to the people’s wishes/needs.”
More later. Much, much more.
Well, due to several events out of my control, and admittedly a few that were my responsibility, the event did not go as planned. So badly, in fact I thought my expulsion from the Company was imminent.
Since I make a point not to delve into details about my work (yes I’d like to keep my job and not get axed like other underlings secretly keeping blogs) I’ll gloss over some interesting tidbits which culminated in a disaster of an event and my first professional crisis.
Exhibit A: The Business School’s Dean pulled rank on me and modified my press conference and ceremony agenda 10 minutes before the big events began. This is after I had sent multiple copies to him and his staff plenty of days beforehand, giving him ample opportunity to make changes before I finalized it.
What was so urgent? Squeezing in extra time slots for his and his right hand man’s to blow hot air at the press conference. And squeezing extra chairs onto the cramped table to accommodate 2 beefy corporate American men. They looked like circus clowns stuffed into a micro mini car- only substitute Brooks Brothers suits for iridescent costumes, scowls for lively painted faces, and a distinguished banquet table for toy car.
Exhibit B: A famous jury member totally disregarding all briefing materials I provided weeks earlier, and embarrassing the awardees and myself when she had no idea what their businesses did. No idea. Then missed her several cues I planned in the ceremony (also detailed in the briefing documents).
I realize now that it’s very difficult to work with people who are "experts" and have inflated egos. They expect you to do everything for them, yet disregard any instructions you may try to give them. Plus, they are more interested in making sure other's inflated egos in the room aren't getting more attention than them. All the jury members, distinguished Business Professors and tech industry experts, sizing each other up, letting their air of superiority ruin my glorified, idealized vision of “professionalism.”
I am not without fault too, as several details which I thought were taken care of in fact were minimally prepared. Thus, causing chaotic backstage confusion, pulling own hair out, and subsequent seclusion in green room after the spectacle crash and burned.
Nonetheless, I learned an incredible amount enduring the event, and what may have taken me years to learn through steady small successes I learned the hard way in one gigantic debacle.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Frustrating example of decay part B: This morning’s fiery irrational anger due to battling poor infrastructure on the way to work. The anger was without compromise, without remorse, heatedly thrown directly at the Indian Government.
I was so irate, I grabbed a scruffy newspaper off vibrating floor and I began to scribble my diatribe over the peanuts comic strip. Fuel was added to the fire as I discovered the cover story was yet another piece on the disorganized, utterly incompetent government and their power struggle. Reprinted here its full, unadulterated version….
“Another government uproar and scandal. Who are these thousands of incompetent people in power? How/why on earth do they stay there? They grab for scraps of authority to call their own, to assert their autonomy in their new “democratic” system without foreigners oppressively controlling their country. What does this government do besides bicker and in fight over issues which only affect less than 3% of the population?
Is there no public works function? Everything here is in decay, nothing escapes its painful decline into dust. Sidewalks haven’t been touched by repair tools in years, urban planning to facilitate new growth is a joke… no one seems to want to take responsibility.
The argument I’ve heard consists of a money mantra. If only the government was rich, if only we had public funding, then we’d really be able to accomplish something positive for the people.
But I doubt the lack of green is whats slowing progress down. If billions of dollars poured into the hands of policymakers and bureaucrats, or govt representative with the power to do good, the true outcome is hazy. Would civil projects be revitalized, or would money be diverted into the proper channels? Hopefully yes, but it seems that there are very few politicians who are directly responsible to the people’s wishes/needs.”
More later. Much, much more.
posted by Laura | 2:50 AM
2 Comments:
Hello,
I am a regular reader of your blogs. I am sorry to hear about your first professional crisis. I hope things get better in future.
As far as the infrastructure is concerned, I doubt anyone in right mind will say it is due to lack of funds. Here is a statistics that would appall anyone.
As per the indian government (no less) every indian rupee thats set aside for development, only 10paisa(10%) reaches the poor (if they ever did).
As far as all these gibberish talk of FDI, free market and all those harebrain schemes, I only wish fund distribution machinery is comepltely overhauled. That alone will solve 90% of india's problem.
Having lived in India for so long, you will be surprised how many articles or initiatives have been focussed on such a crucial thing.
I wish and hope your rest of your stay in my country remains memorable.
Vignesh
Oh my little laura....
chin up. as my wise old stepdad told me just recently, after every winter comes a spring. in my cynical way, i pointed out to him that inherent in that statement is the fact that after spring comes yet another winter. if there's one thing i've learned during my 6 months in L.A., which will be marked tomorrow to the day, all good periods end, as do all bad ones. Life is like a heart monitor....flat..peak....flat...peak.... I guess you just hope that there's enough in your life to keep your heart rate moving at a good clip....
2 more things....firstly, if you're still feeling down about this, i have something that will make you feel better. last week i interviewed a woman who was so large she had to come in the door of the conference room sideways. it gets worse. upon realizing that she didn't fit into a standard size office chair, i had to get javier the janitor to round up a bench for her. she didn't get the job, and i recommended her...so presumably she didn't meet with someone else's specifications. moral of the tale. you're not obese. in fact you're hot. and so lucky.
item number 2. stefano and i are debating going to bulgaria this weekend. to go skiing. with manuel. he and his possy are there. and guess how much tickets are lax to sofia, bulgaria?? 300 usd.
so......it's 72 and sunny here, like it is every damned day. honestly, can we get some clouds and rain every now and then?
miss you lots......when are you planning a little voyage to the westside..????
imigen and baci.
-W
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