"Yes, Master"
Since some friends are out of town for the next few weeks, and in the interest of taking a faux vacation from my industrial-esque company apartment, a friend and I moved into their warm, cozy home, playing the role of a house, dog, and servant-sitter.
Obviously, the main purpose of my house-squatting is to take care of the obese food-obsessed dog, but this house-sitting gig has other perks as I'm slowly realizing how weird, twisted, complicated the world of employing domestic help really is.
Typical of most middle-class Indian families, the couple has a full-time maid/cook/dog-nanny. Also, slightly more luxuriously, they have a car and driver. Both employees are reasonably friendly, say "yes mam" approximately 2,000 times a day, and gush about how much they love their vacationing employers. Kinda strange.
Despite the occasional crisis of consciousness that I’m single-handedly perpetuating the caste system and promoting inequality of human beings, driving to work with car and driver is simply amazing. I’ve momentarily forgotten the trials and tribulations of my usual commute in Indian public buses, as I’m now lost in the Bangalore Expat Chauffered world of luxurious faux-leather seats, abundant leg, elbow and head room, and-- of course—the most magnificent invention of the modern world, Air Conditioning.
(As I couldn’t possibly do justice to the full, aromatic, rollercoaster experiences which color my daily bus commute, I’ll save the full description for a more detail-laden account later.)
Really, having the driver is great. Having cook/maid is fine too, and as soon as figure out what she actually does during the day, I’m sure I’ll appreciate her much more.
Due to her “real” employer’s absence, I think she’s also taking a break in her duties and probably half-wondering what the hell us strangers are doing in her house, spoiling her vacation. Nothing is really clean (all the towels are musty and there’s no toilet paper to be found) and I’ve enjoyed her home-cooked meals only 3 times this week.
One morning, after assuming we had already left for work, she switched on the TV to a local soap opera, and from what I’ve been told from an eyewitness, began to settle in. (I’m sure she was just about to break out the Chardonnay, the 700-page Vogue Summer Edition, and manicure kit too for a full day of spa-like relaxation.)
When we eventually wandered into the living room, catching her red-handed with the remote, pure horror and petrified confusion ricocheted through the 1,300 sq ft apartment.
It was a very awkward morning, to say the least.
Actually, it’s just an overall awkward relationship, with zero hope of normalcy.
As its been described by an anonymous source: “My relationship with the maid/cook is mostly based entirely on histrionics... if she comes late, she'll make up some story about how she was actually there at 6 am walking the dog.... then I have to make up some story about how we really like her food, but are eating at a restaurant for dinner.”
The driver also may have gone on vacation, as he went completely MIA this morning. (I’m hoping he comes back tomorrow, but his phone is off and we have no way to contact him.)
When he didn’t show up this morning, the cook/maid took it upon herself to investigate and call on his "cousin brother" who works down the street. She came back to the apartment 5 min later, breathless and hyper, with an overly complicated story about the "cousin brother" being "gone, gone. no one was in home or in office who he works for holiday" -- which I still haven't quite deciphered.
I think she was secretly proud of his inexplicable disappearance, consequently elevating her to the hotly contested position of "Most Favored #1 servant" by virtue of doing absolutely nothing.
As a careful student and observer of the lives of aristocrats (Beauty and the Beast, Gosford Park) I expected the world of full-time domestic help to be much more fulfilling and glamorous. Sadly (or thankfully), it takes a certain kind of finesse I just don’t have.
Obviously, the main purpose of my house-squatting is to take care of the obese food-obsessed dog, but this house-sitting gig has other perks as I'm slowly realizing how weird, twisted, complicated the world of employing domestic help really is.
Typical of most middle-class Indian families, the couple has a full-time maid/cook/dog-nanny. Also, slightly more luxuriously, they have a car and driver. Both employees are reasonably friendly, say "yes mam" approximately 2,000 times a day, and gush about how much they love their vacationing employers. Kinda strange.
Despite the occasional crisis of consciousness that I’m single-handedly perpetuating the caste system and promoting inequality of human beings, driving to work with car and driver is simply amazing. I’ve momentarily forgotten the trials and tribulations of my usual commute in Indian public buses, as I’m now lost in the Bangalore Expat Chauffered world of luxurious faux-leather seats, abundant leg, elbow and head room, and-- of course—the most magnificent invention of the modern world, Air Conditioning.
(As I couldn’t possibly do justice to the full, aromatic, rollercoaster experiences which color my daily bus commute, I’ll save the full description for a more detail-laden account later.)
Really, having the driver is great. Having cook/maid is fine too, and as soon as figure out what she actually does during the day, I’m sure I’ll appreciate her much more.
Due to her “real” employer’s absence, I think she’s also taking a break in her duties and probably half-wondering what the hell us strangers are doing in her house, spoiling her vacation. Nothing is really clean (all the towels are musty and there’s no toilet paper to be found) and I’ve enjoyed her home-cooked meals only 3 times this week.
One morning, after assuming we had already left for work, she switched on the TV to a local soap opera, and from what I’ve been told from an eyewitness, began to settle in. (I’m sure she was just about to break out the Chardonnay, the 700-page Vogue Summer Edition, and manicure kit too for a full day of spa-like relaxation.)
When we eventually wandered into the living room, catching her red-handed with the remote, pure horror and petrified confusion ricocheted through the 1,300 sq ft apartment.
It was a very awkward morning, to say the least.
Actually, it’s just an overall awkward relationship, with zero hope of normalcy.
As its been described by an anonymous source: “My relationship with the maid/cook is mostly based entirely on histrionics... if she comes late, she'll make up some story about how she was actually there at 6 am walking the dog.... then I have to make up some story about how we really like her food, but are eating at a restaurant for dinner.”
The driver also may have gone on vacation, as he went completely MIA this morning. (I’m hoping he comes back tomorrow, but his phone is off and we have no way to contact him.)
When he didn’t show up this morning, the cook/maid took it upon herself to investigate and call on his "cousin brother" who works down the street. She came back to the apartment 5 min later, breathless and hyper, with an overly complicated story about the "cousin brother" being "gone, gone. no one was in home or in office who he works for holiday" -- which I still haven't quite deciphered.
I think she was secretly proud of his inexplicable disappearance, consequently elevating her to the hotly contested position of "Most Favored #1 servant" by virtue of doing absolutely nothing.
As a careful student and observer of the lives of aristocrats (Beauty and the Beast, Gosford Park) I expected the world of full-time domestic help to be much more fulfilling and glamorous. Sadly (or thankfully), it takes a certain kind of finesse I just don’t have.
posted by Laura | 4:16 AM
5 Comments:
Hey bring an Indian and a Bangalorean myself, I feel it really awkward that many of us have so many maids. You got a point there. Though its kinda accepted and is not seen as a caste or class division. The way they reason is , its just their work. But in many a places they are treated real bad, thats sad. At the same time, as you rightly pointed out, given a little chance, the maids too take full advantage.
Very observative on your part. Loved this write up! :) And enjoy the pampering subject to non-disappearance of more of the helping hands! :)
Sans,
From my perspective, employing full time domestic help is more than "kinda accepted." Everyone does it! I'm given strange looks at work when I admit I don't have a cook. It's blasphemous that I buy my own food and cook for myself.
Although it's easy not to admit, these domestic it most unquestionably, without a doubt entirely based on class distinction. No question. its widely expected that the darker skinned, lower class (caste) people are the only ones who would ever be employed as domestic help.
Take a look at typical Indian advertisment.
In a popular "Italian Cucine" commercial, a computer generated cartoon Indian family is depicted as enjoying time together in the kitchen now that they have a brand new "Italian Cucine."
But notice the maid/cook in this scene - an unkempt, noticeably darker skinned female on her hands and knees scrubbing the kitchen floor while the light-skinned and elegant middle class family cheerily waltzes about the kitchen.
If this racial distinction is accepted by the advertising world, then its probably already accepted by the society at large... perhaps even too accepted/invisible.
Hi laura,
"its widely expected that the darker skinned, lower class (caste) people are the only ones who would ever be employed as domestic help"
I am a dark skinned dravidian man, and my mom has maid in India. And we are no upper caste (white skinned, as you seem to generalize with colors)people.
Though I respect your opinions and first impression on Indian family structure, your take on this issue is not well informed.
Most of the poor in the cities are constituted by village folks who keep pouring in to the cities on a daily basis. Farming is no more a viable option for them. What will they do? you do not have education, no technical skills and only farming and anything that involves physical strength.
Though, the fact fifty years after independence we still have large swathes of illiterate and non-skilled people,is a tragedy that strikes my heart, it does serve its bit in spreading the wealth and allowing a large population to peek in to comfortable lifestyle. Hopefully this will force them to vote intelligently and not foolishly.
Here are two parallels with the USA. Both Hollywood and TV shows for a very longtime had african american actors in buffoonish caricatures than as equals with Tom cruise or someone with star value. Second, most of the grunt work in the US is being carried out by the Mexicans, here in Chicago no-one else does it.
Would you intrepret this as subtle acceptance by Americans, relegating Mexicans as mere "household help" or atleast somekind of Job to earn a quick few bucks for impoverished people. I am afraid I go with the second. I know most of my colleagues are not racists.
The truth is, most Americans have not seen how demographics and social texture changes in developing economies. They had their independence 250 yrs ago, nation building over the years has led the current generation to read and learn about pain and sweat that was invested developing their manicured three car garage houses (with a pool, ofcourse).
Though I do not support abusing manpower and insulting people with menial work, given the circumstances, I see it as means to generate employment for the non-skilled people.
This is a politically incorrect writing of mine, Feel free to delete it.
I enjoy reading your blog.
Vignesh
Laura Congrats on a belated one year anniversary of the blog. Looking forward to what the next year brings!
Saludos from Miami.
Faq
There is no other way a man can respect another woman unless he is born again with the Spirit of God. "Eve-teasing" is simply the result of false world view that Indians have inherited through the Hindu philosophy. Most hindus do not have any concept of a Living God who created man and woman in His image as equals. They do not have any fear of God or punishment. They do not have anything like the Ten Commandments as a solid reference point. Their religion and philosophy teaches that there are no absolutes!! What is sin for one person may not be for another! Good for one can be bad for another, blah blah. As a result, their sinful nature is allowed full expression and no one is allowed to blame them for their sin because quite simply no one knows what is sin! There is only one way out from sin, by repenting and accepting Jesus as the one who has paid the full price for your sins, and being born again...a New Heart!
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